This month flew by and as I try to look for reasons, I can't seem to find any... other than I've been doing shit. Nose has been to the grindstone and to-do's that are relentlessly perpetual hang out around my heels like a swarm of hangry cats.
I turned 30 this month. As the date approached I felt nervous about it, a little intimidated. I don't think I'll ever feel like a proper adult. I still feel like I'm 25. Throughout my late 20's I always told myself that my 30's would be amazing. They will be. And while I'd love to have the ability to wax some poetic about it right now, I don't think I can. I'm 30 now, it's a new decade of my life. Potential and opportunity hum and buzz. My finger on the pulse.
I did start that day with a strong spiritual bath. In the usual style of rising before dawn, washing downwards to remove obstacles, blockages and any sort of spiritual gunk stuck to me, drip dry, clothing myself and marching towards the nearest crossroads whereupon I dispose of a little saved bath water, throwing it over my left shoulder towards the sunrise... and walking home, never to look back on it again. Always the best way to begin a new beginning I think.
I also made a tiny list of things I wanted to get done and do for myself. It really was only one thing, maybe two. Getting my drivers license and buying a car. I've been more or less city bound since I moved here (8 years ago). When my bag and personal belongings were stolen when I first moved here, my license went with it. Because I didn't have a car at the time (and didn't plan on getting one any time soon) Oregon required I take the driving test to be issued a new license, I opted for the non-drivers ID. The quickest fix at the time. A slightly regrettable decision now that I look back on it. But! I haven't had a deep desire for a vehicle till recently.
A lot of this landscape that surrounds me, I haven't explored. I feel, not a void... but a large space inside of me that needs to get out, get away. Or at least have the ability. The city carries it's own spirit that I very much appreciate, but it can be grating on the nerves. The mountains, valleys, the desert, it all calls to me consistently and relentlessly. Now, officially and in earnest I will go to them.
Oh! And it's Walpurgisnacht. Ride your goat to the sabbat witches! I will meet you on the mountain top.