In this post, I am digging back and checking into a year long spread I did for myself on Samhain of 2015. This has been an interesting process to see how things have manifested for me over the course of this year. You can read more about this elaborate spread I created, here.
The moment the sun moved into Aries I felt a fire lit under my ass. It was a very powerful time, full of energy, spring was unseasonably early (again). This has been a very, very good time for me and a lot happened. I felt like a thoroughbred, feelin' my oats at a full gallop.
7 OF BOWS - CLEARANCE
Back in... January, I cancelled my home internet. Best/worst decision ever. I feel like that was my manifestation of the 7 of Bows - Clearance. It cleared up a lot of personal space for me. Coming home from work was about reading, being quiet, sitting in the tub, journalling, cooking good meals for myself. It was awesome making that space for myself and I was able to do it for about 4 months. I just got internet about 2 weeks ago. It was a really interesting experiment. But ultimately, being a business owner without an active connection just isn't easy.
The reason? Well, it's really hard for me to get into any sort of blogging space. It was hard to do readings for folks. I wanted to work on labels for products I'd like to sell here. I wanted to do research, etc.
Let me tell you, it's really hard to get into any sort of creative mindset when you're sitting next to a woman who is wearing perfume that destroys your olfactory sense, hair metal is blasting and over all this in a busy ass coffee shop is a mother trying to read or rather, shout a book at her child. No thank you.
I kind of look at it as a detox. It helped reset my internetting habits. If you struggle at all with adult ADD, you know just what a devastatingly tempting mistress the internet can be.
Three of Arrows - Jealousy
Interestingly this had nothing to do with love, quite the opposite actually. I learned quite a valuable thing this spring: do not compare yourself to others. It sounds pretty simple, but it ain't. It's easy to look at what others are doing and wonder why you aren't doing the same, why you don't have the same, why you aren't as good, etc.
The grass is greener where you water it.
So, I was faced with insecurities, my fears, doubt, feelings of worthlessness. The best course of action during states such as that, is deep self-examination... find the source of those feelings and work on them, rather than complaining, lashing out, or making enemies. Also realize that what you have to offer this world is as completely unique as you are. The battle I think, is learning how to own that. And that's something I am working on.
Five of Vessels - Ecstasy
an overwhelming feeling of great happiness or joyful excitement.
"there was a look of ecstasy on his face"
an emotional or religious frenzy or trancelike state, originally one involving an experience of mystic self-transcendence.
I think ecstasy is something we can work towards, or try to cultivate it into happening. It can be coaxed without the use of psychoactives. It can come when least expected too. For me, this was more about recognition, honouring and surrendering to this state. Recognition of greater forces at work in my own life, an opening up and receiving of this kind of joy and happiness.
Spring has been fantastic so far, but fires can only burn for so long.
In the past few weeks while multiple planets were/are retrograde, I took that as an opportunity to pull back from all the intensity of sun in Aries. If there's one thing I've learned about my Aries self, it's that we can burn hot and not realize we're running on fumes, then we crash and burn and recovery can be a right bitch! Cultivating good earthy stillness, drawing up nourishment so that flame can be fed...
This is where the Vision card from Earthbound Oracle comes in. Note the blindfold. This is an inner vision and exploration within the self. A kind of turning inward to amalgamate and metabolize all the bursting forth and activity that occurred during spring, which is where I feel I am at right now. Not about seeing with my physical eyes, but my spiritual eyes.
So, that's my spring so far.
Moving into summer will be super, super interesting! I have a big trip planned for July that I will be talking about here soon I think...